1 min read
09 May

Have you ever felt like you would be crushed under stress and your to-do list if you didn’t just keep moving forward? Yah, well, that is about where I am right now. Don’t get me wrong, Rory, Phinn, and I are kicking some serious ass. We hired the movers, arranged for the “move-out” cleaning to be done, carpets cleaned, utilities moved, and have the house about ¾ of the way packed. We are in a good place. I still have two full days of packing I can do. Rory has a couple more on top of that. We are good. But you know what terror of a thought hit me tonight in the bathtub with Phinn? I have to leave and this “project” won’t be completed. I have to leave IN THE MIDDLE OF AN INCOMPLETE PROJECT THAT I STARTED!?! Oh my god. OH. MY. GOD.

Rory, the awesome person that he is, told me the other night that he has this move under control, and I could either keep providing suggestions on how he should handle things while I am gone, or I can realize he’s got it and let it go (it may or may not have been when I was maybe trying to maybe control how everything should go when I am not going to be the one here dealing with it, maybe). So, I am doing something that I have never done before. I am trying, the very best I can, to be in the present now and do my job right now, which is to finish packing and get ready for my work trip to CA. Then, when in CA, I will concentrate on doing the very best I can there, and try my very best not to feel responsible about what is going on here. I think the reason I may be freaking out a bit, well, it is twofold:

  1. I might have control issues. ;) I mean, come on. I was a very successful stage manager for a very long time. I like telling people what to do, and am very good at big picture and timelines and organizing. I like to put everything in order and make it nice. BUT! I will say that I have gotten MUCH better. I don’t even make Rory put all the cans label facing out anymore. . .
  2. I don’t abandon projects. And that is most definitely how I feel about what I am doing. I am leaving a big project half way done. But you know, I guess if I think about it like this – the moving is really the middle part of the project, book ended by the packing up of and unpacking of all our stuff – it isn’t as bad.

Ok cool. CoolCoolCooCooCooCooCool. Good talk. I am going to go sit down (yes, I am typing this standing up because, well, I am an ol’ lady tonight with a bad back, ha ha!), watch Narco, and relax. Don’t get me wrong, I will be suppressing the urge to get up and pack boxes. But I think for now at least, I am feeling much better. Thanks for working this out with me!

PS – HOW is my exercise ring STILL NOT CLOSING? Jeezus! I am running around this house making boxes and packing and my watch is like, “Um, hey, fatass? Yah, you. You should get up and move”. I mean, it actually says, “You can still do it!” But like, you know the tone that is implied, come on. . . I’m not an idiot.

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